I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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