I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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