the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
where am i from again
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
