yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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