Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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