That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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