whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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