I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
