you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
