she woke up with a sticky ear
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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