i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
