it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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