Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
