bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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