My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
