at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
