So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
