smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This is the high leading the old right now
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize