when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
