Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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