ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
