that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
