i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
