He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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