You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
