Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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