And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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