i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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