I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
