Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
