Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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