Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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