GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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