I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
