Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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