So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
