there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
