Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
