i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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