So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
