Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
