I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
