Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Are my feet made of real feet?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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