If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
