my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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