Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The power of my boobs compel you
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
