i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just want nice things and good sex
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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