this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
