She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
