You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize