Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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