If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
