Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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