i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
This is not my ceiling
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
