I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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