Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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