doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
