idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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